Aggression is a
behavior aimed at harming others physically or psychologically. It can be
distinguished from anger in that anger is oriented at overcoming the target but
not necessarily through harm or destruction. When such behavior is purposively
performed with the primary goal of intentional injury or destruction, it is
termed hostile aggression. Other types of aggression are less deliberately
damaging and may be instrumentally motivated (proactive) or affectively
motivated (reactive). Instrumental aggression involves an action carried out
principally to achieve another goal, such as acquiring a desired resource.
Affective aggression involves an emotional response that tends to be targeted
toward the perceived source of the distress but may be displaced onto other
people or objects if the disturbing agent cannot be attacked (see displaced
aggression). In the classical psychoanalytic theory of Sigmund Freud, the
aggressive impulse is innate and derived from the death instinct, but many
non-Freudian psychoanalysts and most nonpsychoanalytically oriented
psychologists view it as socially learned or as a reaction to frustration.
Aggression among
nonhuman animals also exists, involving direct physical attack by one on
another or the threat of such attack. Over the years, different researchers
have identified different types of animal aggression based on such
considerations as the members involved (e.g., intraspecific or interspecific),
the apparent intent (e.g., offensive or defensive), or the stimuli eliciting them.How
to overcome anger problems: the role of anger in psychology and what causes
anger issues
Out of all our
emotions, anger tends to be the one we’re least comfortable with – both when
we’re in the presence of the anger of others, but also, sometimes, when it
comes to expressing our own.
But anger is a
completely natural, healthy emotion. In fact, just like all emotions, it serves
an important function, helping us get our needs met and alerting us to danger.
However, when it gets
out of control – and we’re unable to express our anger in an appropriate way –
it can become destructive, both to ourselves and others.
Angry outbursts throw
the body into fight or flight, which, when experienced for an extended period
of time, can exhaust the body and deplete our energy… So much so, in fact, that
studies have linked aggression and high levels of anger directly to depression
– especially in men.
That’s not to mention
the toll this kind of anger can take on our relationships. When we shout, we
create an atmosphere of threat. Whilst the aim might be to make ourselves – or
our point – “heard”, the reverse is often true. When people feel like they’re
walking on eggshells all the time, they’re likely to be more guarded and less
able to relax. In this sense, uncontrolled anger ostracises us from others, and
holds us back from forming true intimacy.
How to overcome anger
problems: the role of anger in psychology and what causes anger issues
Out of all our
emotions, anger tends to be the one we’re least comfortable with – both when
we’re in the presence of the anger of others, but also, sometimes, when it
comes to expressing our own.
But anger is a
completely natural, healthy emotion. In fact, just like all emotions, it serves
an important function, helping us get our needs met and alerting us to danger.
However, when it gets
out of control – and we’re unable to express our anger in an appropriate way –
it can become destructive, both to ourselves and others.
Angry outbursts throw
the body into fight or flight, which, when experienced for an extended period
of time, can exhaust the body and deplete our energy… So much so, in fact, that
studies have linked aggression and high levels of anger directly to depression
– especially in men.
That’s not to mention
the toll this kind of anger can take on our relationships. When we shout, we
create an atmosphere of threat. Whilst the aim might be to make ourselves – or
our point – “heard”, the reverse is often true. When people feel like they’re
walking on eggshells all the time, they’re likely to be more guarded and less
able to relax. In this sense, uncontrolled anger ostracises us from others, and
holds us back from forming true intimacy.
What role does anger
play in psychology?
Anger is one of the
six “basic emotions” identified in the Atlas of emotions and it serves an
important function. Being able to express our anger – rather than suppress it –
is essential. Anger alerts us when our boundaries have been crossed, making
sure we look after our own needs.
Anger is a valid
emotion in its own right. That said, when anger becomes a problem, it can often
be used to mask other, more uncomfortable emotions lurking underneath. Because
of societal pressures, men in particular might find that they revert to anger
as a way to cover up deeper pain and hurt.
What causes anger
issues?
No one is born with an
anger problem. It’s usually a learnt coping style with deep roots.
Some people learn this
response by copying their parents growing up. Perhaps a parent had a short fuse
or an aggressive communication style, berating or criticising other members of
the family. If you’re brought up in this kind of environment, you might
consider this kind of behaviour as “normal”.
It can also develop
following abuse or bullying. Say, for instance, you were badly bullied at
school… You may have vowed to never allow it happen again. In this sense,
shouting people down becomes a pattern of “protection”.
How to overcome anger
issues:
Overcoming anger
issues isn’t about suppressing anger but rather about learning why it’s there
and how to express it in an appropriate way.
Start an anger diary –
in order to better manage your anger, you need to first learn how to recognise
when you’re feeling angry (before it tips into rage). Start by thinking of a
recent episode and make notes on the following:
What triggered your
anger:
· The warning signs (how
your body felt, what kind of thoughts were running through your mind…)
· How you responded
· The consequences of
expressing your anger in this way
Consider what triggers
your anger –
examples might be: not feeling heard, things not going your way, people taking
advantage of you, situational events etc. The aim is to help you identify what
pushes your buttons. The better you are at identifying your triggers, the
easier it will be to create coping strategies for dealing with your anger in a
healthier, more productive way.
Look at the kinds of
thoughts you get when you’re angry – do you immediately jump to worst case
scenario or expect the worst from people? Do you take everything personally or
assume that people’s motives are always negative? If you struggle with anger,
you’re likely to find that some of your thoughts are distorted or blown out of
proportion. Taking the time to step back and question these thoughts before
making a knee-jerk response can help prevent an angry episode from taking hold.
Practice “opposite
action” –
opposite action is simply about acting opposite to an emotion’s urge. So when
it comes to anger, the urge is usually to attack someone – physically or
verbally – or to be sarcastic and criticise. Therefore, acting opposite means
gently taking a step back from the situation, trying to be gentle and patient,
and putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. Next time you get angry, try
relaxing your body posture, unclenching your fists, doing some rounds of slow,
deep breathing, and continuing until the intensity of your anger subsides.
When directed and
expressed in the right way, anger can be healthy and positive, helping us clear
the air and strengthen bonds with our loved ones. But when it becomes a
self-sabotaging pattern, it can become dangerous and cause us a lot of problems
in the long run.